Notice how your response changes when you alter the picture, sounds and feelings along the same
lines as those identified above.SummaryWe are all different - experiment for yourself and notice the
impact of changing various aspects of the pictures, sounds and feelings of your internal 'representation'
of people with whom you have a 'difficult' relationship. Regardless of your sport and your
current standard. Another former client was a highly promising female middle-distance runner, who was often
teased by a male athlete, which had a strongly adverse impact on her performance.Whenever we
think of something or someone, we have internal pictures, sounds and feelings, and the meaning
we place on the person, situation or event depends on these internal 'representations' that we
have of the person(s). She imagined him speaking with a Donald Duck voice, and changed
her internal picture of him to be like a ridiculous cartoon character. This article provides
some tips on dealing with 'difficult' people who are requin tn supposed to be on your side,
such as team-mates and coaches, without even letting them know you are bothered by them.Dealing
With Difficult PeopleWhen competing, it is not uncommon for our opponents to be difficult and
to use gamesmanship and other tactics to put us off our game. If dialogue does/would
not work, or if you prefer not to let them know they bother you, there
are other ways that we can alter our perceptions of the person(s) so that we
have a more useful response to them.One of my former clients was a very successful
young tennis player. She continued to make changes until she laughed every time she thought
of him, which completely changed the impact his words had on her.Please note that these
two situations were relatively minor. This had the impact of changing the way she felt
about him, which enabled her to 'put him in perspective'.With the runner, because she had
no reason to tn want to like the male 'tormentor', she was more extreme in the
way she changed her internal representations. She felt extremely nervous about playing with him. This
is the sixth in the series of articles on mental toughness in sports, and the
first of two articles on dealing with 'difficult' people. It is completely possible to change
these representations, which changes the meaning and hence the responses we have.As a guide, the
impact of something will be lessened if we make our internal pictures smaller, darker, and
more distant, our internal sounds softer, in a different location relative to us and further
away, and our internal feelings still, warm, smooth and in a different location in our
body.With the tennis player, because she wanted to still think positively of her tennis coach,
she made some tweaks to the volume and tonality of his voice in her head
when she thought of him, and small shifts in the brightness and location of the
picture. Notice the picture you have of that person and any associated sounds and feelings.
In fact, in some sports it is an accepted part of the game.Challenges can come
when we have difficult relationships with, or feel intimidated by, people who are supposed to
be on our side, such as coaches and team-mates. Change the internal 'representation' until your
response to that person is appropriate for the situation.Whether you are a player, athlete or
a coach. Ideally, we would simply 'have a chat' and it would all be resolved.
Had there been a major problem, this approach may not have been appropriate.Try this yourself;
think of a person who bothers you when you think about that person. She was
about to play a mixed doubles final, partnering the club coach. Find out how you
can make massive improvements in your sporting performance and results.For free resources and all the
information you need, go to: http://www.WinningAtSport.com.
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